9) “Hey baby, when’s the last time you got your stocking stuffed on Christmas Eve?”
8) “Sorry about that Santa, but it is deer season.”
7) “Daddy, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, and Santa looked a lot like Herman Cain.”
6) “Come down my chimney you commie fat ass, and you got a 12 gauge pump shotgun waiting on you. I will shoot the red off of your long haired, bearded hippie ass. I got a Tea Party waiting for you.” Then former Governor Palin was moved away from the cameras.
5) “Merry Christmas from your wife and her attorney, sir. You have been served.”
4) “Dear little Johnny, next year instead of cookies and milk, could you please leave bourbon and your mom’s oxycotin?” Santa
3) “Officer, I am drunk, but my reindeer are not.”
2) “Just because you name your baby Jesus does not mean I am going to pay you child support.”
1) “But, Santa, that blogger told me being naughty with him was being nice. Besides, I am the Governor. ”
